Laws of Attraction

I can't figure out why I haven't been in an action movie yet. It's my dominant mind thought between 6-8 a.m. and 10-11 p.m. every weeknight, including holiday Mondays, and everyone has been commenting on my positive energy since I discovered ephedrine. Maybe I need to pin Billy Murray to my vision board.



Edit: Here is Grasshopper working on his two-dimensional vision board. Note that he has yet to accomplish his dream of "tearing someone’s life apart in five years time. Nothing malicious, just a systematic erosion of what makes a person a 'person,' until they’re nothing left but a shell."



Perhaps a better "picture" would help him realize this "dream" of "his."

Calendar Girl and McFaker

Un autre Français dans la famille

Congratulations on your dog's DNA results, listed below. 

 
Level 1 (75% or greater)    Brittany
Level 2 (10-20%)            Yorkshire Terrier

 

Go ahead. Snicker.

You think Luke is somehow less of a dog just because he has a bit of a small breed in there. Yeah, well, see that sweet little puffball beside him in the photo? That's Molly. She's fifteen pounds of solid scary, has kicked Luke's ass from here to Mississauga a hundred times, which I just realized isn't really making my case SHUT UP.

It's hard to look all squinty and tough when you appear to be wearing freshly scrubbed white tennis socks. And a ruffle.

That a great-grandparent was a Yorkie may explain his tolerance of Lyon, our beloved houseguest who peed on my bed five times and repeatedly launched his earmuff-sized body into the air, Matrix style, to make direct hits to Luke's face.

And yet. Luke is missing some Brittany traits, like birding and pointing instincts, and has a long tail and other attributes that seem more border collie than, you know. (SHUT. UP.) So the lab coats are going to retest him in case my swabbing sucked.

Meantime, Himself says: S'il vous plaît de me parler que dans ma langue maternelle mais pas de kiss-kiss parce qu'il est yuck. Merci et vive la France.

Postcard from Toronto's forgotten Communist Block

There is food in my bathtub. Food that traveled from my next-door neighbour's sink, under the wall, up the drain pipe, and into my tub.

Imagine if I hadn't been home to hear the tub rapidly filling with water and stew remnants. 

On the bright side, the power is on today and food rationing is on hold until the Halloween candy is gone.